¹ This needs to be amended.

We just had that rarity for Texas, a cold and frosty morning, and I can now assure you (and from personal experience too) that carrying a bag of hot dog poop when you foolishly didn't think it necessary to wear gloves is not appalling in the least.

Not that it's really relevant, but here's a SMBC cartoon that is at least tangential.

Here's a list of Heptarchy period kingdoms

and I think I might have missed one???

Here is a link to the Digital Cuttlefish page so you can see how many good poems I left out.

¹  It’s a little known fact about Moshemoshe Dareno-otakudesuka is that while he is normally known by that appellation it is (of course) just his Japanese name. His original Gaoidhealg name was Take O’Takemeasiam.

²  Which at the very least manages the correct unmarked plural for game

¹ 'Snow on their high heeled boots' A reference to a rumour from early in WWI that there was a train full of Russian soldiers traveling through Britain on their way to help us in France. They had come so quickly that there was still snow on their boots. The actual story is quite sad.

² I should probably add that they missed the fact that I'm married! Though congratulations to them for realising that I'm a guy!

¹ Redolf the rude-nosed reindeer*
Had a very naughty nose,
And if you ever saw it
You would blush down to your toes.
All of the other reindeer
Teased till he broke out in hives,
They wouldn’t let poor Redolf
Anywhere near their reindeer wives!

Then one censorious Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
“Redolf, with your nose so rude,
“Won’t you shock this dreadful Prude?”
Then all the reindeer tolerated him,
And they shouted “Out with Glee!
“We don’t think that programme
“Should be on Reindeer TV!!”**
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* Thank goodness we don't have a picture‡.
** They were very opinionated and couldn’t stick to the subject—bit like me, really.
_____________________________________

‡ Though it now appears that one has appeared (and a movie to boot). Luckily the naughty bits have been redacted!

¹   Do you think the Queen sent her mum, the Queen Mum, a telegram on her 100th birthday?

²   Historical note for history wonks and all you nerds out there: Eadmund might possibly have been briefly followed by an Oswald and an Æthelred II before that swine Guthrum usurped, but there ain’t much evidence apart from a few coins so we’ll just gloss over those poor sods.